Online Dating?

So I’m sitting here watching Rambo: First Blood, drinking a cold adult beverage like any red-blooded American should be on a mundane Monday night, wondering what I could possible write about this week—a challenge I face almost every week come 10:30 pm on Monday.  Finally, a commercial comes on detailing an online dating website.  Heavens open up; thought breaks through.

Online dating websites.  It’s a relatively (might be a stretch) new idea, so I figure the topic is timely enough.  Nowadays everyone knows someone who has at least tried a dating website.  I can’t say that I’ve ever done so myself—save for a competition in college to see who could mack the most older women, untiil we found out you had to pay for it—so I am not necessarily drawing on any personal experience, here.  Come to think of it, one of the only people I do know who has tried it is now finds herself walking the Appalachian Trail alone—no correlation there, I swear.

So, odd as it may sound for someone who has no experience with a dating website, and someone who has written in the past about technology limiting our ability to interact with people, I am writing an article in favor these websites who do their best cupid impressions.

To criticize online dating because it launches someone into a relationship with a potential creeper without having first had some sort of person-to-person interaction, or to think that you’re above it because you can meet people on your own, is missing the point.  Think of it as your personal college admissions department: These websites exist in order for you to screen an applicant pool before making a final decision on them.  Before you make that decision, of course, you will also have to conduct an in-person interview, whereupon you’ll know whether or not you’re going to… let them in (sorry).

For full-grown humans, meeting that special someone can be hard when you’re working a lot and the free time you do have is spent doing things that might not necessarily lead to meeting Zeus or Athena.  Not every gal finds herself in the same aisle of the same grocery store at the same time as Patrick Swayze (R.I.P.!), as you both accidentally reach for the same grapes—did you feel that spark!  O, what a sensual fruit.

This isn’t college anymore, either.  All you bros out there can’t just grind up on some poor, unsuspecting female anymore and expect her to enjoy it, let alone think a relationship is going to come from that interaction.  In fact, you probably never should have thought that.  Not cool, man.  Unless, of course, she was “asking for it,” and giving you all the right signs to go for it.  Then, by all means…

Unfortunately, it’s a whole new ballgame out there.  Again, not that I have had the need to seek out a partner, but for those of you who—for some horribly misguided reason—are reading this for dating advice, I see no problem in joining an online dating service, entering your interests (I Heart Blogging), and watching to see the people who match up with you.

The way I see things, it can play out in one of three ways: (1) You’ll at least have fun looking at all of these weirdos’ profiles with your friends; (2) You find someone who actually sounds interesting enough to meet up with for a drink, if only to never call that person again; or, (3) You will actually meet that perfect someone and your love will blossom so much that the only way you can think to repay the website is to do commercials for me to watch during the next installment of Rambo.

Ya never know.

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